http://www.betruetoself.org Creating A Safe Space For Everyone Wed, 25 Mar 2015 05:24:15 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.4.5 Comment on Recovering From The Lie by Joseph http://www.betruetoself.org/recovering-from-the-lie/#comment-112 Wed, 25 Mar 2015 05:24:15 +0000 http://www.betruetoself.org/?p=388#comment-112 Thank you for writing Recovering From The Lie. I have lived it and still do not know how to recover. This is something I have not heard discussed in Trans space. Not even addressed as an issue by therapists. I believe it is a form of PTSD for those of us who transitioned in middle age or even older.

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Comment on The Re-Claiming of the Word Queer by Rhonda http://www.betruetoself.org/the-re-claiming-of-the-word-queer/#comment-24 Fri, 02 Nov 2012 04:35:47 +0000 http://www.rampantsolutions.com/betruetoself/the-re-claiming-of-the-word-queer/#comment-24 This post touched me… When I was a child, the word queer was used to identify me as different from others in an unhealthy way. I used to feel separated from the mainstream(and my power source)because of those differences. Somewhere in my late 20’s I found this definition for Queer: “bold or daring, brave,original, unrestrained by existing ideas or conventions, uninhibited”. It rang of power, choice and positivity and I adopted it for my expression of Queer. It provided me a perspective change that allowed me to see where my true source of power was(inside myself). About the same time, I found the Anais Nin quote above (which still sits in a prominent spot on my fridge)and began to expand my understanding of my strengths and differences.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights, Mac. They do inspire others.
~Rhonda

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Comment on The Fear of the “Other” by LAURI Boren http://www.betruetoself.org/the-fear-of-the-other/#comment-29 Sat, 04 Aug 2012 17:25:09 +0000 http://www.rampantsolutions.com/betruetoself/the-fear-of-the-other/#comment-29 Thanks Mac. I remember the exact moment I decided to lose a chess match because girls werent supposed to be smarter than boys.
LB

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Comment on The Fear of the “Other” by Mylee StarHawk http://www.betruetoself.org/the-fear-of-the-other/#comment-28 Fri, 03 Aug 2012 17:23:13 +0000 http://www.rampantsolutions.com/betruetoself/the-fear-of-the-other/#comment-28 this was a beautiful post Mac, I love you you’re AWESOME!

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Comment on The Fear of the “Other” by Patricia Gray http://www.betruetoself.org/the-fear-of-the-other/#comment-27 Thu, 02 Aug 2012 00:14:27 +0000 http://www.rampantsolutions.com/betruetoself/the-fear-of-the-other/#comment-27 I love you, Mac! You called me out when I degraded my own sex by calling them “girl push ups”. Never again, thanks to you. Peace. love. kindnes.
Rock on!
<3 Slammy

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Comment on The Fear of the “Other” by Abby http://www.betruetoself.org/the-fear-of-the-other/#comment-26 Wed, 01 Aug 2012 22:45:15 +0000 http://www.rampantsolutions.com/betruetoself/the-fear-of-the-other/#comment-26 I think it is important to include too that “other” is perceived within the LGBTQ. For example, Cathy Brennan and her cohorts are probably the most toxically anti-transgender contingent that I’ve encountered. Indeed, as a gay transgender woman, the animosity I anticipate most is not from straight men or women (depending on socio-economic / educational backgrounds, etc.), but rather from within small but vocal contingents in the lesbian community.

Further, I struggle with my own feelings of “other” about heterosexuals. From the time I was very little (like 4), it made absolutely no sense to my brain why a woman would ever willingly be with a male. That seems absurd until you think about the science. A gay woman’s brain reacts to pheromones very differently than a straight woman. We are wired to not find men attractive or nearly as attractive as women. And, likewise the converse is even more dramatically true for gay men who share almost identical brain structures with straight women. So yes, it really didn’t make sense to my young brain.

It is important to state that current science does suggest we as transgender people are born with the brain structures and endocrine systems of the sex we understand ourselves to be as well as often anatomical consistencies. (For example, not only do I feel profound peace with my hormones are stabilized to female levels but I have pretty distinct “birthing” hips for someone born a “male”). Continuing, we may be born with gay, straight, bisexual, queer brains of that gender. I think transgender people’s sense of other may, in some, be compounded even over any other group. Again, that would make sense scientifically. To take a limit example, if based solely on biology, my woman’s gay transgender brain would be least intuitive to a gay male. Yet, gay men are my dearest and closest friends. Why?

Of all the demographics inside and outside of the LGBTQ, I think the gay male community has evolved much more than any other group. My gay male friends may likewise feel a bit baffled as to why a male might want to be with a woman, but they are almost always have a “live and let live” mentality, or “you go gurl / girl” if that works for you.

My point with this is all of these differences are very, very real and have basis in our biology. However, judgements about what we thing of those who differ, as you so well articulated, those are our culture and our willingness to have fear toward those we do not understand.

I know, I still have work to do. To this day, if you give me the choice of sharing space with women (straight or gay), gay men, or any place with straight men, my instinct still is to choose anything but the latter.

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Comment on The Fear of the “Other” by CheshiRat http://www.betruetoself.org/the-fear-of-the-other/#comment-25 Wed, 01 Aug 2012 21:36:01 +0000 http://www.rampantsolutions.com/betruetoself/the-fear-of-the-other/#comment-25 Thanks for this Mac. Fear of other may be ignorant, but it’s hardwired into our low-brain. ‘Other’ takes more time to process we’re more likely to make mistakes. This is let us survive when a trivial difference let us evaluate life or death as primitive gathers. We need a reason to override the emotional discomfort caused by the initial response from our amygdala. The authoritarian power structures created over the centuries are empowered by such bigotry, so it needs to come from the masses.

Regarding your question, it’s slightly off-base. We need different judgement. We are social animals, and respond to social queues. “You’re too assertive and smart for a girl” is judgmental and sends a horrible message to young women. Replying to that with “Your animosity harms your peers” is still judgmental, but in a different vector.

The good news is we’re starting to see more and more of it. Last year we saw ‘gay approval’ surpass 50% in the USA – mostly with gains in the 50+ male demographic. The likelihood of being chastised for publicly voicing archaic values is rising. We’re actually starting to see MSM cover trans-rights stories sympathetically. It’s still a long fight, but humanity has a long – if checkered – history of increasing human rights, freedoms & dignity.

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Comment on Lonely Champion by Amy http://www.betruetoself.org/lonely-champion/#comment-2 Sat, 26 May 2012 00:33:50 +0000 http://www.rampantsolutions.com/betruetoself/lonely-champion/#comment-2 I think my differences when I compare myself to girls in my school and soccer teams is why I was suicidal as a young teen. That’s when my differences were questioned by my peers. Before that age, it was plain bullying. Everybody has a different story , as we know. My coming out gay story is one I tell often to come out again is still too painful. I think it’s because I grew up with gays and lesbians so that was no biggie.

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Comment on A Regular Guy by Abby http://www.betruetoself.org/a-regular-guy/#comment-6 Tue, 01 May 2012 21:50:07 +0000 http://www.rampantsolutions.com/betruetoself/a-regular-guy/#comment-6 Well done Mac. I think we’ve been sipping of the same spiritual ether. I just posted the below on a thread about when and for how long we label ourselves “trans.”

“I do not identify as a “trans” woman. I always understood my subconscious sex to be female. Was I assigned the gender of male at birth, yes. That is one of many labels I’ve been called. Did I internalize it, anguish over it, despise it; did it fill me with rage and sadness, yes. I decide how I identify and that is not a topic for debate with me. Everyone has opinions much like everyone has other parts. I feed the white wolf.

I am a woman with a medical condition. That condition is called transsexualism. Current research supported by the AMA/APA indicates this condition likely resulted from a combination of genetics and anomalies in the first trimester. Good. That research also posits that women like me were born with female brains and endocrine systems. That hypothesis seems true to me based on my own experience with HRT over the last 11 months.

I do not know my chromosome configuration. I do know as a student who excelled in the natural sciences that genetics are far, far more complex that simple XY combinations.

Our understanding of transsexualism and transgenderism based on medical research is in its infancy. Consequently, a healthy dose of humility is prudent when construing an opinion on another’s gender identity. For those who would hold strong positions, please take a moment to consider the advancements in the sciences over the last century.

Spiritually, psychologically, intimately, energetically, I am a woman. Anyone who has met me knows this.

Whether you choose to identify as trans is your choice and will always be respected by me. It is your path, your truth. You alone decide for yourself how you will identify where it counts most.”

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Comment on A Regular Guy by Unknown http://www.betruetoself.org/a-regular-guy/#comment-5 Tue, 01 May 2012 21:40:28 +0000 http://www.rampantsolutions.com/betruetoself/a-regular-guy/#comment-5 This comment has been removed by the author.

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